My Stupid Hat
Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:41 am
You know the saying, “A little learning is dangerous”? Well, too little lurking can be expensive. I had decided to get back into the Indy impressions game after a 30-year hiatus and got a COW membership, then read just enough to find that someone (Jedirun) had started with a Dorfman Pacific “officially licensed” Indiana Jones fedora...and that was all it took. I didn’t keep reading to find out that starting with a DP was, well, a complete waste of money. That week I went to Disneyland and, my head swimming with visions of fortune and glory, bought some Indiana Jones swag for my son and a DP for myself.
I think that there should be a banner across the top of The Fedora section that reads, “Friends don’t let friends buy Dorkman Pacific hats.” Or, at the very least, a sticky thread titled “Don’t buy a DP.” But hey, live and learn, right?
By the time Jedirun advised that I return the DP and put the money toward a real fedora, I had already started working it over. The liner fell out immediately; no turning back now. I soaked it and took the bash out and found that the crown was a perfect hemisphere. There was no way I was going to get anywhere close to a Raiders bash with this thing. Based on--there’s that guy again--Jedirun’s advice, I used chip clips to pinch the felt as it dried, but then it wasn’t tall enough to fit on my head. I soaked it again, inflated a volleyball inside it, and let it dry again. Then I put it up on a shelf in the garage and tried to forget about it.
Meanwhile, I was spending money on other gear, mostly jackets. But what is Indy without his fedora? So I researched and decided on a starter fedora, and in doing so, was inspired by Garrison’s SoC to pull the DP down again. I soaked it thoroughly and tried to rinse out some of the stiffener, then I pinched it and formed it and stood outside in the sun while it dried. The result wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible either. Onward.
I’d been wanting to get some Fuller’s earth but after a quick test with my wife’s matte powder, I figured loose mineral powder in a khaki color would be easier to locate and potentially cheaper; a quick trip to Target and four bucks later, I had my own (pressed) powder and a brush (and had precluded the risk of my wife finding out I was using her name-brand products on a project).
What I finally ended up with is a sort of Temple of Doom taper (at best) with a pseudo-Raiders pinch and a distressed look that I call Main Street of Cairo. (You know, ‘cause, Main Street...ah, never mind.) The teardrop crown was unavoidable; there just wasn’t enough height for my head. The hat is as stiff as a board, but it looks surprisingly OK sitting on a shelf. It’ll do in a...uh, pinch, in case I need to get geared up before my real fedora arrives. What’s funny is that my son, 4, looked at the hat, felt the front pinch, and said, “Daddy, this should be more sharper.” That’s my boy!
Well, now that I’ve improved on the standard DP, maybe I can recoup some of my money on eBay... Anyway, the moral of the story is: Do your homework, and ask for opinions from veteran members. Experience counts.
tl;dr Hey, look what I did to my hat!
In other news, my wife came home yesterday with a big, floppy fedora from Forever 21. Although it’s black, and the bow is on the wrong side, and the brim is way too big, it had a definite Raiders look to it. And it was only $18. Unfortunately, the closest they had to brown was a camel color. I thought I might be able to dye one and trim the brim...and then I thought better of it. Again, that would be money and time best put toward a real fedora. (So of course she came home with one for me today. It’s going back tomorrow, for store credit.)
I’m glad my wife is into hats all of a sudden; that will make it easier when I start bringing home fedoras myself.
And in other other news... Maybe it’s a case of not noticing something until you’re tuned in to it, but yesterday I found several safari-style shirts at Target and 21 Men (the men’s section of Forever 21). Nothing you’d wear as Indy, but nice shirts nonetheless. Maybe that’s what I’ll use my store credit for.
"Thatisall."
I think that there should be a banner across the top of The Fedora section that reads, “Friends don’t let friends buy Dorkman Pacific hats.” Or, at the very least, a sticky thread titled “Don’t buy a DP.” But hey, live and learn, right?
By the time Jedirun advised that I return the DP and put the money toward a real fedora, I had already started working it over. The liner fell out immediately; no turning back now. I soaked it and took the bash out and found that the crown was a perfect hemisphere. There was no way I was going to get anywhere close to a Raiders bash with this thing. Based on--there’s that guy again--Jedirun’s advice, I used chip clips to pinch the felt as it dried, but then it wasn’t tall enough to fit on my head. I soaked it again, inflated a volleyball inside it, and let it dry again. Then I put it up on a shelf in the garage and tried to forget about it.
Meanwhile, I was spending money on other gear, mostly jackets. But what is Indy without his fedora? So I researched and decided on a starter fedora, and in doing so, was inspired by Garrison’s SoC to pull the DP down again. I soaked it thoroughly and tried to rinse out some of the stiffener, then I pinched it and formed it and stood outside in the sun while it dried. The result wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible either. Onward.
I’d been wanting to get some Fuller’s earth but after a quick test with my wife’s matte powder, I figured loose mineral powder in a khaki color would be easier to locate and potentially cheaper; a quick trip to Target and four bucks later, I had my own (pressed) powder and a brush (and had precluded the risk of my wife finding out I was using her name-brand products on a project).
What I finally ended up with is a sort of Temple of Doom taper (at best) with a pseudo-Raiders pinch and a distressed look that I call Main Street of Cairo. (You know, ‘cause, Main Street...ah, never mind.) The teardrop crown was unavoidable; there just wasn’t enough height for my head. The hat is as stiff as a board, but it looks surprisingly OK sitting on a shelf. It’ll do in a...uh, pinch, in case I need to get geared up before my real fedora arrives. What’s funny is that my son, 4, looked at the hat, felt the front pinch, and said, “Daddy, this should be more sharper.” That’s my boy!
Well, now that I’ve improved on the standard DP, maybe I can recoup some of my money on eBay... Anyway, the moral of the story is: Do your homework, and ask for opinions from veteran members. Experience counts.
tl;dr Hey, look what I did to my hat!
In other news, my wife came home yesterday with a big, floppy fedora from Forever 21. Although it’s black, and the bow is on the wrong side, and the brim is way too big, it had a definite Raiders look to it. And it was only $18. Unfortunately, the closest they had to brown was a camel color. I thought I might be able to dye one and trim the brim...and then I thought better of it. Again, that would be money and time best put toward a real fedora. (So of course she came home with one for me today. It’s going back tomorrow, for store credit.)
I’m glad my wife is into hats all of a sudden; that will make it easier when I start bringing home fedoras myself.
And in other other news... Maybe it’s a case of not noticing something until you’re tuned in to it, but yesterday I found several safari-style shirts at Target and 21 Men (the men’s section of Forever 21). Nothing you’d wear as Indy, but nice shirts nonetheless. Maybe that’s what I’ll use my store credit for.
"Thatisall."
