Club Obi Wan

This last week was not one of the best times in my life. Working in community drug and alcohol prevention programs means you're in the public spotlight alot (Supported on one hand by some and the object of jealousy by others).
For the most part my Lid has always been a plus. People know me as the "Hat Guy" and the High School kids seem to think I'm a bit eccentric and approachable compared to their teachers. This week I was told I needed to be careful for being seen in the public too much and That "Hat of mine" made me visible to a fault.

After going through the regular loss of sleep and paranoia as management hoped I'm adjusting to the reprimand by meeting fewer of my community partners out in public but more than a few things will have to freeze over before I stop wearing my hat. I wonder if any others have had similar experiences?

Standing my ground
Kilgour Trout

Sorry to hear about your experience. Do you think the reprimand is intended towards your work (with the hat comment thrown in), or is the perception of a "hatted employee" somehow going against the grain of your profession's ideal perception of themselves?

Indiana_Tone wrote:Doesn't sound like the hat's style is what was being targetted specifically as the cause of the problem; just that it's uniqueness (the fact that not many wear a fedora) makes you easier to spot in a crowd.

...so he should just always hang out with other Gearheads, and fit right in

I'm not understanding something. Where are they not wanting you to wear it? Are they wanting you to stop wearing it while you're on your own time, or while you're doing drug counseling? Is it because if you're going to wear it while working for them, they want to treat "hat guy" as a signature and not dilute their "brand" by wearing it elsewhere, or is it because they just think you look like an idiot and they don't want you wearing it while you're working?

Or do they want their counselors to be anonymous and not be recognized in public for fear of coming to bodily harm?

Or is there something you're still not telling us?

Cheers!

You know it felt like one of those matter of fact statements
You're this, You're that and your mother dresses you funny

It could also be that I already stand out in my agency. I'm one of only 10 men in an agency of 120 women. So...perhaps its a combination of things but definitely looking like an "Idiot" eh! .

It at times doesn't serve to stand out too much, especially being a Canuck. Gator will know what I mean. You stand out too much and people think you're big headed. Which makes me laugh cuz I'ze only wear a size 7.

Anyway...I'm just pulling the lid down tighter and weatherin the storm eh.

Warm Regards
Kilgour Trout

This is just an idea... I really believe that it is not a problem for you to wear your hat on your way in, but maybe, as protocol states, you should take off the hat once in the building. Hang it with your coat, put it in a safe place, etc. This way you are not adhering to any ridiculous opinions, and still doing the right thing, as far as "hat rules" are concerned. If they have anything to say about it, just tell em, "Hey, I know that a hat is not to be worn in a building, during a funeral, around jerks, etc..."

My 2 cents,

Michael B

Agreed. Sounds to me like they had so little to say on the negative side of your performance evaluation, they had to toss that comment in....just as you say above. It could just have easily been a comment about the color of your socks.

I had my Performance Evaluation a couple weeks ago, and when they asked me what I thought a positive point for the operation of our department was, I sat there for a minute and said, 'we have a new coffee pot?'

Apparently they liked that, and approved my PEG's for another year.

Just another box checked for the old HR department. NEXT!

Regards! Michaelson

Oh, you're in Canada! Ahhh well, that's a horse of a different colo(u)r!

All I can say is good luck. You're one of ten men in a department of over one hundred women. It could be that -- in the "Great White North of Diversity for All" -- you're beginning to be perceived as being a bit too Alpha Male for their tastes, and they want to nip it in the proverbial bud. Check out you're male peers, are they a bit more plain vanilla or passive compared to yourself? Do they conform to "the norm" better than you? That you're more popular with the kids than any of the other counselors may have peeved some higher up. If this is a volunteer situation, they can't fire you, they may just be wanting you to go away of your own accord. If, however, this is your "day job," then it may get a bit sticky.

I'm being more than tongue in cheek with a lot of the above, but I hope you get the point I'm driving at.

Cheers!

It's kind of sad that in these times a man is considered as different or weird when he's wearing a Fedora. When not that many years ago the guy without the Fedora was'nt completely dressed.
Cheers,
G-MANN

Kilgour,

Sounds like it's someone's personal peeve being put in for lack of any real complaints. If the best they can come up with when looking for things to criticize you for is "dude, your hat's dumb" then I'd say it's their problem.

I'm afraid I must admit I'm still a little unclear as to exactly why they're concerned that you're "visible;" in any case good for you in sticking to your guns...err, hat

Antone

Thanks guys! The insights and wisdom have been very helpful.
When we go through these times, it takes the dust finally clearing before we see just how crazy they are. It doesn't take long to see if the complaints had legs or not.

Michealson..your story reminds me of incident when I was asked to apply for a management position, where at the end of the interview...one of the nurse managers asked if there was any other one thing that made me the best candidate for the task...to which I answered, (quite tongue in cheek)..that I have "the best looking hat in the Health Unit eh". At this...One of the two managers burst out laughing while the other looked at me like I was from Mars.

Not surprisingly...I didn't get the job. (No loss though)

I don't know how others see things but I find that though I take my work quite seriously, I know myself way too well to take myself seriously. Can't help going for the humour in life. Between this and being perhaps a bit too male...I bring it on myself

Ah Well....just need to keep my stick on the ice.
Cheers
Kilgour

Baggers you may just have something there

Good answer, KT!

In any case, would you want a career at a place that humorless anyway? I'd say "the job didn't get you," rather than the other way around...

Antone

So true Antone, Soooo true.

It's the old Fly and honey situation,
"Looks good until you're stuck waste deep"

I'm just glad God "so often" preserves our hides
from the things we want most.

Warm Regards
Kilgour

Baggers ideas sound dead-on to me, and one of the things they utilize me for here is discerning what's really going on between people. I'd say this is at least in part some professional jealousy which is manifesting as criticism that is looking for anything to latch onto. Probably a good sign that the best they could come up with was 'you're getting to be too recognizable'. Well, if they excelled too, so would they.

Reminds me of and old saying, "If they're shooting at you, you must be doing something right."

That all said, ignoring them may not be the best course forward. (Not that this is what you are doing, Rob.) If Baggers and I are correct, this may not go away with this simple gripe. Backstabbers tend to keep stabbing, and if you are lucky, you can see them coming first. Sounds to me like someone did tip their hand here by sending an ineffective criticism your way. Time to talk to one of your advocates in the department - someone you trust to keep the confidence - and ask them if there is some resentment about you, and whether it is based on something or just selfish reactions to the progress you have made.

Learn from the scars of others.

J

It could also be a legit security issue too in that if you are too easily recognized, you can be a target.

But that's fine with me, I like to see my prey coming at me....

Stand tall man !

JJ

I think Jersey JOnes has hit the nail on the head. You work in drug prevention. YOu are known to most kides in the area and talk to them about not doing drugs. Drugs are run by gang members who target kids as prospective customers. You are standing between a dangerous suppplier and their ideal customers.

I myself feel this is an extreme point of view and that it is over-thinking the sutuation, but it may be what your co-workers/supervisors may be thinking.

Jimmy

I think this is not an issue of security, but one of 'Political Correctness,' and/or jealousy. The people that run the Drug and Alcohol Prevention programs are probably going to be way down on a gang bangers 'To Do' list. They are more concerned with Law enforcement people, confidential informants, rival gangs, and people that owe them money or drugs, than they are drug counselors.

Now, not to insult any members here, I am not trying to generalize, I am just relating my own experiences, I think in organizations that have a very high female to male ratio, there is a certain amount of male envy present, especially if a male is able to excel in that profession, (I am now waiting for the proverbial smack in the head that is sure to come ). Even my wife has stated this. She says that large groups of women in the job place just "blah, blah, blah" about whomever isn't there.

Last but not least, I think very few people appreciate the style or class of a good fedora. My family and friends don't think that my running into burning buildings or getting bit by police dogs is nearly as strange as my wearing of a classy fedora.

PLease don't take this post as an insult or put down of anyone, especially the female members of this forum. Keep up the good work Kilgour.
Thanx,
Rick (now diving off of his soapbox, to a point of relative safety behind a big rock )

JPdesign wrote:I think Jersey JOnes has hit the nail on the head. You work in drug prevention. YOu are known to most kides in the area and talk to them about not doing drugs. Drugs are run by gang members who target kids as prospective customers. You are standing between a dangerous suppplier and their ideal customers.

I myself feel this is an extreme point of view and that it is over-thinking the sutuation, but it may be what your co-workers/supervisors may be thinking.

Jimmy

Jimmy, I don't think that's the problem at all. My wife has been a middle school teacher for almost 30 years, and the only thing that she and her peers have ever really been worried about is security within the school building itself. Off campus, the only thing she's afraid of is getting caught smoking or drinking by one of her students! Teachers, counselors, SROs (school cops) basically just go about their lives after work like anyone else. Nobody takes any special precautions beyond what any person would to ensure their privacy, and that's it. And this is in a suburb of Dallas, Texas. Kilgore is in Canada, I'd be shocked to find out that he's in a more desparate situation than we are down in the States.

No, I think he's getting squeezed because he's too "outside the box" for their tastes and he's more successful than his co-workers at what he does. After all, every person I know who works with kids will do almost anything (including wearing funny costumes) to get through to their students, and are encouraged to do so by the administration. That Kilgore is being told not to means that someone's got it in for him. I think an overly PC environment may definitely have something to do with it as well. They're just using his hat as an excuse.

Cheers!

Kilgour - I don't suppose these other guys wear toques, do they? You could use that as a defense if they do, or if you've ever seen them wearing one, "You can wear your toque, and I'll wear my fedora, eh!" I also think it sounds like some kind of jealousy issue... but also I agree with Jerry, find a person you trust and talk to them about it, and everything will turn out beauty.

In Christ,
Shane

Continued thanks to everyone for their terrific insights, I'm somewhat embarrassed and want to apologize for having posted it as I feel it incredibly self-indulgent.

I would just want to make just a few final responses...

I agree Jerry...I'm following up on this strategy to try and get some inside info but very carefully. I'm still pretty sure it has to do with a local Addictions agency who doesn't have much respect for prevention programming and quite likely a subtle dislike of "Hatted Men" if you take my point.

Bagger's (and Blooze) are probably bang on with the PC insight though, and perhaps more than they know. PC around here used to Mean Progressive Conservative, or the Tory Party (Which is now the Conservative Party of Canada). I was unintentionally somewhat visible in our Northern town of 5000, in the last Federal election supporting the Conservatives in a historically "Liberal" riding. Soooo..Could be a matter of politics with a dash of PC . I could have drawn trouble as there is an expectation that you can't be a capitalist and compassionate at the same time. Ah Well...Need to move to Alberta!
The joy of Small towns!

So...without any-more self indulgence and Non-indy digression, I'll take some of McFly's advice and take the Great Touque Strategy of defense eh! Thanks McFly..I laughed at that one!!

Remember...We're all in this together
Keep your Hats on your heads...
Warmest Regards

Kilgour Trout

My company was bought out by larger company last year and they finally came out with a new employee handbook. We'd been working under the old handbook guidelines.

The new handbook states: "Headwear shall not be worn while at work unless it is for religious purposes"

So far no one has brought that point to light, and I've kept it to myself. Everyone still wears their dirty baseball caps all day long, so I guess it's no big deal.

I've cut back wearing my fedoras unless I'm outside or the weather is bad.

You have gangs in Canada? Just kidding! My question is who was the bearer of the "don't wear a hat in public." commment? If it was a coworker on level ground with you, then I'd be worried. If it was a supervisor, there may be some legit reason. It does sound a bit like they may be watching out for you, as they didn't say don't wear it at work, just don't wear it in public (I'm guessing while you're doing your job as your off time your personal time.)

zeus36 wrote:My company was bought out by larger company last year and they finally came out with a new employee handbook. We'd been working under the old handbook guidelines.

The new handbook states: "Headwear shall not be worn while at work unless it is for religious purposes"

So far no one has brought that point to light, and I've kept it to myself. Everyone still wears their dirty baseball caps all day long, so I guess it's no big deal.

I've cut back wearing my fedoras unless I'm outside or the weather is bad.

I'm pretty sure a toque is a religious headpiece in Canada...Rob, try wearing a toque UNDER your fedora. Now you can just claim you are an Orthodox Canadian, and fear getting your toque wet. (Then you can always claim religious persecution if they persist w/ their silliness.)

My silliness aside, glad to hear you've got a way forward. Feel free to update us or look for more feedback. Don't worry about being self-indulgent, your experiences are probably valuable to many other hat-wearing folks on this board.

I have met Kilgour and I know that he is one of the nicest, most well mannered individuals on the planet. I know that he would not violate hat etiquette and wear his fedora when it was inappropriate.

I can only assume that these comments are based on an individuals prejudices or likes and dislikes and has nothing to do with his performance or safety. It must be this person's idea that a fedora is not appropriate attire. I have arrested rapists, robbers, drug dealers, and murderers, and I have never thought for a moment that my wearing a fedora in public would constitute a threat to my safety.

I must admit that I am at a loss to explain what a fedora has to do with Kilgour's performance at work or his safety. Is a hat a violation of their dress code? I would think not. It sounds to me that these comments came from management. I don't get it, I just don't get it.

This is another reason why I hate bureaucrates. (I walk up and down the stairs in front of the state capitol saying, “Fools…” at least once a month.)

Do you do your job? Do people respect you? Have you affected lives for the better? You might be an assett because you’re standing out.

Also, keep in mind that I was kicked to the curb because someone took offense to the fact that I brought an American Flag to work to keep in my cube and some one who had “negitive and emotional memories of the 1960’s” took offense.

Sorry, my GRANDPARENTS had negitive and emotion memories in the 1940’s when one of them didn’t come home one afternoon in France.

Those people should be embarrased and ashamed of themselves.

Bufflehead Jones wrote:I must admit that I am at a loss to explain what a fedora has to do with Kilgour's performance at work or his safety. Is a hat a violation of their dress code? I would think not. It sounds to me that these comments came from management.

I've known a lot of people who do social work and the issue is really one of safety. You don't give out your number or ever tell anyone at work your last name because that little bit of anonymity will keep you safe. It the same reason radio personalities use 'stage names' and adopt 'on air' personas. Just to throw off the stalkeresque. People with drug and alcohol problems have a bit of (okay, a LOT of) difficulty understanding what is socially appropriate behaviour and find it unfathomable that someone who's so personable down at the 'agency' doesn't want to hang out and be friends with a shady addict in off hours - and they can become upset and even violent when you tell them, you've got to keep the relationship strictly professional and at work only.

My advice is to not wear the lid at work (it's bad ettiquette to wear a hat indoors anyway), but wear it only to, from, and a way from work - it might even work as a 'disguise' to separate you from the suits who work at 'the agency'.

I hope that helps folks understand a bit more.

Maybe, I never had a problem because I carry a gun.

Bufflehead Jones wrote:Maybe, I never had a problem because I carry a gun.

What kind?

I've known a lot of people who do social work and the issue is really one of safety. You don't give out your number or ever tell anyone at work your last name because that little bit of anonymity will keep you safe. It the same reason radio personalities use 'stage names' and adopt 'on air' personas. Just to throw off the stalkeresque. People with drug and alcohol problems have a bit of (okay, a LOT of) difficulty understanding what is socially appropriate behaviour and find it unfathomable that someone who's so personable down at the 'agency' doesn't want to hang out and be friends with a shady addict in off hours - and they can become upset and even violent when you tell them, you've got to keep the relationship strictly professional and at work only.

My advice is to not wear the lid at work (it's bad ettiquette to wear a hat indoors anyway), but wear it only to, from, and a way from work - it might even work as a 'disguise' to separate you from the suits who work at 'the agency'.

I hope that helps folks understand a bit more.

Sound advice . I agree with sable completely, having worked security at a major hospital for three years, I worked hand in hand with the social work and psychology departments over some of their patients. It's understandable that they form a "connection" with their social worker or therapist, and want to make friends. That is understandable, and reforming social connections is essential to their recovery. What they don't understand, unfortunately, and must come to realize is that those connections must be made outside of the sessions and not with their social worker

What's next?? Don't wear your pants in public?? Because, by God, corduroy pants will make you stand out from the average cotton Dockers guys. Ya know, Clark Kent wore glasses so no one could tell he was Superman. Sounds a bit odd to me, really. I mean, that may work in comics, but in real life, people know who you are with or without your hat on, fedora or not. If someone is out to get you, do you think NOT wearing your hat will throw them off?? I think not. May buy you a day or two, but really.
Unless it was an order, or a problem with dress code that could cost you your job,..keep on truckin'.
'Blues

Snakewhip_Sable Wrote:

I've known a lot of people who do social work and the issue is really one of safety. You don't give out your number or ever tell anyone at work your last name because that little bit of anonymity will keep you safe. It the same reason radio personalities use 'stage names' and adopt 'on air' personas. Just to throw off the stalkeresque. People with drug and alcohol problems have a bit of (okay, a LOT of) difficulty understanding what is socially appropriate behaviour and find it unfathomable that someone who's so personable down at the 'agency' doesn't want to hang out and be friends with a shady addict in off hours - and they can become upset and even violent when you tell them, you've got to keep the relationship strictly professional and at work only.

Walden Wrote:

Sound advice . I agree with sable completely, having worked security at a major hospital for three years, I worked hand in hand with the social work and psychology departments over some of their patients. It's understandable that they form a "connection" with their social worker or therapist, and want to make friends. That is understandable, and reforming social connections is essential to their recovery. What they don't understand, unfortunately, and must come to realize is that those connections must be made outside of the sessions and not with their social worker

While I appreciate Sable's and Walden's opinions, I think that a boss saying that you shouldn't wear your lid, because you become more of a target is a cop out (no pun intended Buffle, I salute you boys and girls in blue ). It is my understanding that acts of violence are usually not random. More often than not, they a perpetrated by some one that is known to the victim. Not always, but usually. If some one wants to get you bad enough, they're going to make that attempt to get you whether you have on a hat or not. They know who you are, and what you look like. The only thing a hat will do, is maybe make it easier for them to spot you in a crowd of several hundred people if they are a sniper, which is more likely to happen on television, than in real life.
Rick

I know, I know I said I wasn't going to say any more about this but
Blue's comment

What's next?? Don't wear your pants in public??

Made me laugh out loud in the office

It's interesting that conversations go so many different directions once you start them....as I never expected either security or etiquette to come up. Just BTW...When It comes to ettiquette, I'm always on my best behaviour and (of course) only wear my lid to and from, out and about.
The security issue used to be an issue but I'm more in education, awareness and prevention know so, I'm not dealing with clients anymore. Rather..at times I feel I'm closer to being one eh.

As for Gator....Are you packin again
Just because we've got a saner Federal Government, ya just can't
grab that western holster from your closet eh!!

Anyway...Behave yourself Robert or I'll have to come up there in May!!

Warmest Regards
to All
Kilgour Trout

P.s. One last thing, is it just me or does everyone feel a little weird these days? Man...Must be cabin fever, but I can hardly bring myself to post, make phone calls and bring wood in for heat! Hmmm....

Kilgour Trout wrote:P.s. One last thing, is it just me or does everyone feel a little weird these days? Man...Must be cabin fever, but I can hardly bring myself to post, make phone calls and bring wood in for heat! Hmmm....

I hear ya man, same here. As if the "icky" weather isn't bad enough, we just passed midterm here and the pressure is on for the last half of the semester. I'm really looking foward to heading home for spring break at the end of this week. I just need to get out in the mountain and throw a few round of .455 down range and I'll be fine.

WOOHOO! Post # 2000!

IndyBlues wrote:Because, by God, corduroy pants will make you stand out from the average cotton Dockers guys.

I'm wearing dark red corduroy pants at the moment, btw.

Well, then, certainly you'll stand out! Have you ever tried to sneak up on someone wearing corduroys?

vvvvvvip vvvvip vvvvip!!! Hey! So THAT'S what your name means!

binkmeisterRick wrote:Have you ever tried to sneak up on someone wearing corduroys?

Nope. Just bought two close enough web belts for 12 bucks, btw.

Kilgour Trout wrote:
P.s. One last thing, is it just me or does everyone feel a little weird these days? Man...Must be cabin fever, but I can hardly bring myself to post, make phone calls and bring wood in for heat! Hmmm....

You're not alone in feeling this Kilgour. Something's in the air. Even had this mentioned on other forums. Keep your eyes open and your wits about you
On the hat front, I'd say wear it whatever. Personally the more people try and tell me what to do nowadays the more I'm going to get stubborn.

Keep happy

Jeff.

raindog wrote:

Kilgour Trout wrote:
P.s. One last thing, is it just me or does everyone feel a little weird these days? Man...Must be cabin fever, but I can hardly bring myself to post, make phone calls and bring wood in for heat! Hmmm....

You're not alone in feeling this Kilgour. Something's in the air. Even had this mentioned on other forums. Keep your eyes open and your wits about you
On the hat front, I'd say wear it whatever. Personally the more people try and tell me what to do nowadays the more I'm going to get stubborn.

Keep happy

Jeff.

I agree. Something does feel strange. I know part is going through some different times at home, but darn, I feel it. I know what you are saying.
My father is over 84 now. Never afraid. Was always a guy that will say what is needed to anyone. Nice, sweet, and kind. Rub him wrong and watch out. Get the picture. He is always telling us to be careful, now. He said that folks are crazy and will shoot you at a stop sign if you give them a look. He is feeling what you are talking about. He sees changes. They are there. I just can't put my finger directly on it.


Best regards,

Prof. Ed

Arthur Dent: You know, this explains a lot. Because all my life, I've had this unaccountable feeling in my bones that something sinister was happening in the universe and that no one would tell me what it was.

Slartibartfast: Oh, no. That's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe has that.

To quote the late great Douglas Adams once again.

Kt.

One of my favorites KT.
However, my normal paranoia is still there. This is something else

Remember, it's the optimists who are mentally ill


Jeff.

I'm not paranoid, it's just everyone's out to get me.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!

Cheers!

Soittakaa Paranoid!

Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
people think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify

Can you help me occupy my brain?
Oh yeah

I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind

Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me us so unreal

And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late

Excellent