Just Story That I would Like An Opinion On, Or Two...

[michaelb]

Hello All,

Haven't posted in a while... Want to be in a "creative position" once again, as I have been for over twenty years, professionally, but been a bit down looking for work. I have had a number of temp positions to hold me over here and there. Have some friends here (I hope), that I owe some gifts, favors, and apologies at the least, but again, just waiting for that time when I am "permanent" and I guess feel more secure in myself.

Anyway, I was at my current position, with a company that I really like. Possibly could go perm, we shall see. I was sitting in a cubicle where, I couldn't see them, and I am "new", so don't really know them all that well. These guys I would guess would be around in their late 20's to early 30's. The first I will call C1 (for cubicle 1) and the second as "Kenneth", since I believe he is a management position.

They were talking somewhat "pretentiously" about cars and sports, VERY seriously...

Probably have some insecurity issues the way they behave and their language.

So-

C1: "Hey, did you see that nerd, THAT NERD, with the nice hat? Did you see that nerd?! Huh, Kenneth? Huh?! Is he a nerd or what?!"

(Now I saw this guy "the nerd" at one point walking to work and immediately noticed that he was wearing a fedora and definitely a nice one. This was no DP. It had the same wide brim, high crown and color of an AB or any of the other first class offerings available. I would have stopped him, but he was moving very quickly and did not look too happy. I figured next time I see him I will inquire.)

So, "Kenneth" responds,

Kenneth: "Oh, yeah.. I saw that nerd. I know who you are talking about."

C!: "Yeah! What a nerd! Someone should tell him he is not Indiana Jones HA HA!"

(What is this High School?)

I bit the bullet and called out, "So if you see someone in a Red Sox cap, do you tell them that they don't play for the Red Sox?"

It got really quiet for a second and then they went on to something else.

I spoke to my wife about this, and she was like, "Don't cause any trouble with your new job." I said that I was trying to be very funny about it and make a point. Didn't "think" that it was a big deal.

I wanted to feel comfortable, after about the usual 3 month ritual of whether you continue to have a job at so called establishment, which I have reached. (Still not permanent though) But I told her that I was so looking forward to wearing my hat at this point, but now I am a little perturbed, angry and maybe embarrassed?

I just thought that it was sad that they didn't understand someone bringing a little class to the world of men's fashion these days.

Again, any opinions would be appreciated, I miss this site and hopefully will be on my feet again to post more regularly and feel a bit more confident in connecting with the great people in my area that I have great respect for and am grateful to COW for getting to know them.

Got a little dramatic there, but you know what I mean. This just really bothered me.

Thanks and hope all is well with everyone,

Sincerely,

Michael B

[Indy506]

Bravo for sticking up for him. Guys like that will never have a passion like what we on this forum have. I myself have been called names and made fun of for wearing my Penman on a university campus. While it does make me feel a bit embarrassed I just laugh and look at what they're wearing. And I, being the smart ### I am, always make a comment about what they're wearing. After that they usually shut up. I still wear my Penman everyday. My friends love me for it and the people that try to make fun of it have, like you said some insecurities. They aren't creative and are afraid of being themselves. So, if I were you I would wear your hat and show those clowns that you don't care what they think and find out what kind of hat the other guy has. Never know, he might lead you on an adventure.

[michaelb]

Thank you Indy506,

That is very cool and nice. I am actually looking forward to wearing my hat now and just giving a nod, a "tip of the hat" to them, etc. If they don't know any better than I can't help them.

Michael B

[trdaggers]

These guys are nothing but bullys. I'm very proud that you stood up for him. Talking behind someones back is cowardly. In the old days you got your butt kicked for something like that.


Gailen

[ChrisMD]

This expression is relevant to your coworkers. "Some people are like slinkies, useless. But they put a smile on your face when you push them down a flight of stairs".

Personally ive been in that situation. I always mention how i love hats and wear fedoras like that alot. Most people then feel embarrassed that they put their foot in their mouths.

[WConly]

Hey. Life is life. It is 'what it is,' for 'who it is' that is living it. Your response was 'humane,' to say the least and quite honest. People, and certain thought processes which they utilize are all ways in which 'they' attempt to gain superiority and/or acceptance. I gave up a long time ago 'trying to please everyone else' around me -- truthfully, I never even started. To me, the best thing anyone can do is be 'themselves' and nothing more. No, the guy they were talking about is not 'Indiana Jones,' and I highly doubt he thinks himself to be so. You are not 'Indy'...I am not 'Indy,' and I am pretty secure in the knowledge (at least, I think so ,) that I am not a member of any major league baseball franchise, including, but not excluding ''The Red Sox." I understand your wife's concerns and comments, as they are valid. You don't want to blow opportunity, but, in the same regard, you have to stand up for those who are in the position of being 'falsely accused,' of whatever it is that others believe to be true of them, when they (the accusers) don't even know them. Good for you ! Great character shown here. Hold to who and what you are, in spite of those who would wish to 'pull you into 'their' world.' Let us know if you get to meet this fellow and tell us more, as this scenario presents itself! God be with you. W>

[Kim Hoffman]

Don't worry about fools, they're beneath you. Wear your hat. If you wear it consistently they'll will eventually come to admire it. Once they admire it they will want one. Considering that they connected the fedora to Indiana Jones they're almost there. One of the reasons people like Jones is because of the hat. The hat, the jacket, the whip, the job. But the hat in particular. Once they're used to seeing the hat their attitudes will change. Great men wear hats.

[Long John Tinfoil]

Two things come to mind.

It was a "What would Indiana Jones do?" moment, and you chose wisely.

trdaggers is right. They're bullies, and whether they get on someone for being a nerd, for wearing a hat, for having a different background, or for having a different style and outlook, they need to be pulled up short. If "Kenneth" is representative of management's style and the culture of the organization you're going to have to keep working to bring some maturity to that office.

Your did good. You did right. Jobs are useful things, but your self-confidence should be built on these right actions. I spent a lot of years in Human Resources, and one thing I learned is that it's probably a mistake to hire a character, but it's never a mistake to hire real character.

LJT

[indyclone]

good for you for sticking up for that guy. i get snickers from time to time for wearing my hat. usually its the indy theme they start singing or a small laughing , which i in turn turn and give them a stern look and if they say something else i usually remark on their baggie pants that look mighty stupid to me . and they usually just walk away.

[WConly]

Two things come to mind.

It was a "What would Indiana Jones do?" moment, and you chose wisely.

trdaggers is right. They're bullies, and whether they get on someone for being a nerd, for wearing a hat, for having a different background, or for having a different style and outlook, they need to be pulled up short. If "Kenneth" is representative of management's style and the culture of the organization you're going to have to keep working to bring some maturity to that office.

Your did good. You did right. Jobs are useful things, but your self-confidence should be built on these right actions. I spent a lot of years in Human Resources, and one thing I learned is that it's probably a mistake to hire a character, but it's never a mistake to hire real character.

LJT

Amen! W>

[Ridgerunner58]

I was a hat guy a long time before 1980. I wore an Open Road Stetson on every Boy Scout trip I ever went on.

When Raiders came along I was in my early 20s. The movie created a problem because I was generally a non-conformist and people associated wearing a hat with trying to be "that guy in the movie." (Even though my Open Road was grey, had a narrow ribbon and an edge bound brim.)

For a while I let it bother me but eventually I just wore what was comfortable.

Some people toss out the Indiana Jones remark. My usual response is "he couldn't afford a hat like this on a teacher's salary."

Ignore the insecure idiots. The world is full of them and life is too short to waste one precious second on people who need to belittle others in order to feel important.

Wear what's comfortable to you. If a brown fedora makes you feel more like you then wear one.

(Love the Red Sox remark, by the way - perfectly highlights the idiocy.)

[afterthedog]

This reminds me of a time I was on a jobsite. A coworker, for some reason I can't remember, decided to start bashimg on Mormons. Several times a day he would pop off with some derogatory comment toward them and laugh his fool head off. Finally, toward the end of the day, he shot his mouth off again. I spoke up and said "I'm a Mormon" (I'm not). You should have seen his face! I eventually told him that I wasn't Mormon, but I think he learned a lesson. He didn't work with me for much longer after that, but he didn't put people down around me anymore either.

[Strider]

During times like these, I like to trot out a column that I read by Miss Manners years ago about how people dress.

She was addressing a woman who was constantly being chagrined for "dressing up." Miss Manners advised the woman to come back with the following as opposed to a snarky comment:

"I dress as I see fit, as I'm sure you do, too."

[Illinois James]

These are all good responses and thoughts.

When those situations arise, I don't usually address the derogatory statement. I just smile, look at the ignorant person in the eye, tell them to have a good day, and walk away.

I won't waste time and energy on a fool.

Its not the type of hat you wear, (if you wear one at all). It's the man (or woman) under it that counts.

[Charybdis]

I think you did the right thing. You can make a valid point in pointing out their behavior but not jeopardize your job. Saying something like "that is how a true gentleman dresses" or something like that can make a subtle point to them. Good job!

[michaelb]

Thanks for all the responses! I was a little embarrassed this morning after the post, but I guess it made some sense after all. I think I will at some point be wearing my hat proudly at work and letting them see for themselves that I could really care less... Although, it is mainly these two dweebs that are the only problem I believe. But, you never know and I should not care, anyway.

Thanks again!

MB

[Illinois James]

It is a worthwhile story and one nearly everyone here can related to.

Just wear the hat, man!

[indyhan]

wow guys, i would have assumed wearing a hat was a totally mundane thing in the u.s of A !
i live in Europe, and i've been wearing my indy fedoras on a nearly daily basis for two years and never got any disparaging remark.
never got any remark at all, come to think of it.

truth be told : i once got The Raiders March played through the PA of an art gallery, but that was more of an amicable wink than anything.

people just seem not to give a heck what you're wearing in my area...

so far...

[Indiana Croft]

Great hearing from you michaelb, has been a while. And as far as your story goes, I agree with every thing said, I wear my Fedora and my wested hero or US wing every day, hat and jacket why who do I think I am, just me. People only make comments like that because there insecure. They wear baseball caps backwards and say hey dude I'm cool. (no offence meant to any one who does wear there cap backward, but I tried it with the Fedora and it just kinda looks the same. )

So wear your hat, and wear it every day, sooner or later they'll 1) get used to it and 2) will only make a comment when your not wearing it, like hey wears your hat?.
So wear it sir, that's what it's meant for.

Croft

[Michaelson]

As several of us has said in the past, once they are used to it, you WILL get grief when you DON'T wear your fedora! Trust us!

Regards! Michaelson

[trdaggers]

Never thought of myself as an eccentric person but my wife says I am. Always did things my way as long as they didn't interfere with others. I'm always humming a tune when I'm shopping with my wife in the super market which embarrasses her. Doesn't bother me. I would rather be my own man then follow some unwritten code of how you are supposed to act or dress. I remember on a visit to the post office dressed in Indy hat, shirt, pants, and boots, a lady in line commented, "you look like you just got back from a safari." To which I answered, "well thank you, That's exactly what I was trying to look like." I never was a follower.

Gailen

[micsteam]

Amen !!! It's a pretty good rule of thumb that people who feel the need to point out other people's clothes, disfigurements (on this one I'd have to kill this person !!), behaviors, etc. have personal issues and want to project onto others so no one pays attention to the fact that they probably have a small ##### or no social skills etc. Get what I mean ?? No one here on COW or anywhere else should feel bad, insecure, or have to defend themselves because they wear a hat or specific clothes ( I'm not saying take their @#$%, ofcourse stick up for yourself). Look at it this way, even though here our passion is Indiana Jones and characters associated, the Indy style is from our past and a very good looking one at that !! People used to respect themselves more !! I guess that it is socially acceptable to look like schmucks today in some fashion circles and they want to tell other people how to dress... really ??? I tell you I got into the COW forum (one of the best if not " the" best forums out there no BS !!)for not only my love of Indiana Jones but my love of the actual fedora, it's a piece of art, and the time period Indiana Jones represents. I'm from NY and I grew up with my grandparents and their brothers, sisters, and friends and all of them lived, starved (the depression), worked hard, went to war, came back built this country up to what it is and brings today. When I wear my fedora (whenever I want and however I want) I wear it because I love it, because I'm a huge Indiana Jones fan, and most importantly it honors I how I feel about my grandparents and that generation. No one ever bothers me when I wear my fedora, maybe because I have an air about me that says if you have a comment I have a punch in the nose for you .... I dunno but that's what my girlfriend tells me. I wear my fedora with pride. For whatever reason you choose to wear your hat, clothes, whatever if anybody has something stupid (for lack of historical knowledge, insecurity, or just plain stupidity) or derogitory to say about anything you wear you look them straight in the eye and tell them to kiss your ### !!!
Keep your head up and godbless !!!

[BendingOak]

I think it eccentric if you have money and nerotic if you don't. I'm nerotic.

[micsteam]

I'm nerotic

[trdaggers]

I think it eccentric if you have money and nerotic if you don't. I'm nerotic.

Well put, I like it. Though I think your age is also a factor.

Gailen

[BendingOak]

I think it eccentric if you have money and nerotic if you don't. I'm nerotic.

Well put, I like it. Though I think your age is also a factor.

Gailen

yikes, Im doing so well then.

[Illinois James]

Neurotic and proud. And I'm neurotic! Oh, boy.

[Ridgerunner58]

Age is a major factor.

Eccentric is just happening to do what you want regardless of what others think because you feel like it, and you've been around long enough not to care.

Neurotic is deliberately doing what you want regardless of what others think because you'd really LIKE not to care and genuinely believe you shouldn't, even though you still do a little.

I'm pretty sure I'm just eccentric.

[WConly]

Now...on the other hand, my 'earthly' father used to say: ''You're eccentric if you're rich, and crazy (to others) if you're not!'' So...I don't think I have to worry about being (neurotic), and 'crazy,' perhaps, but only as 'it' (crazy) applies to me. I really don't care what others think. That is of their choice to decide. The last time I checked; one of the greatest (and, sometimes most dangerous) gifts that The Good Lord gave us was - free will! I don't recall, Him referring to good taste in our appearance, as being a bad option. Then again, I might just be -- crazy! If so, then so be it! W>


ps: Gailen: My wife doesn't consider me eccentric. She simply tells them: "Hey, that's William. What you see is what you get." W>

[micsteam]

Gailen,
maybe my age is a factor but I respect those that came before me, especially those that I personally knew WWI and WWII generation... they were my family, I'm only 40 !!! I've been told for many year I'm older than my time ... ok thanks for the compliment but when it come from someone like my Grandfather's buddy Charlie Dolan that was with Merril's Marauders in the China Burma Theatre (came back with malaria and with two purple hearts)... means something to me !!! Gailen don't take me wrong I appreciate the "favor"....the understanding, but when a man does something he does something and that's it !!! We've lost something in the equation here for some time and (I'm a libral... to a degree !!!) in the last several generations we've kinda' lost something. Anyway, not to take away from anybody, I support everybody here .... but I got ya' back !!! I might seem I a little rough around the edges but take something from it because it only comes from a good place !!!
Via Con Huevos ( go with eggs ie. english translation ... after two gin martinis... I miss you Grandpa !!)
micsteam

[micsteam]

Toughest, most honerable people I've ever known in my life, I could only try to be as good as them. Sorry guys, the emotion consumes me. Let's get back to fedoras !!! Right Mods ???

[micsteam]

Missed that one " what you see is what you get " beautiful !!!! Could not have said it better !!!

[michaelb]

Wow... Been a little busy and have not gotten back to here for a while... Some strong opinions. Very cool. Thanks guys for all the input. And a big "Hello" to Indiana Croft and family! Hopefully I will be on my feet again soon. Lot been going on... Dad passed away unexpectedly at the young age of 66 a few months ago and I am in charge as "Personal Representative" or "Benefactor?" A year of ups and bad downs. Oh, BTW, Dad would have been 67 yesterday. He was a Viet Nam Vet and Marine. One of the toughest guys I knew. Businessman, A Pilot, who broke an east coast to west coast speed record, sailor, and all around great guy. Just put more stress on life as I try to get away from these "temp" positions and into a real permanent position again that is creative. Once I get to that point I can post more regularly and hopefully get to see some of the gang from around here again... I am having trouble sleeping, listening to music and basically enjoying life. I know you are not supposed to let your job dictate who you are, (Or are you?) but I am one of those people who can't help it and feel embarrassed that I am not in the "place" where I was a few years ago as a professional artist. Working on that and hope to reach that point soon but not getting any younger.

Thanks again for all the positive input regarding this silly situation at work but it just irked me enough to post and see if people had anything to say.

Hope I am not repeating myself.

Take care and Happy Memorial Day!

Michael B

[Dr. Nebraska S.]

My deepest condolences on your loss.

-Dr. Nebraska S.

[WConly]

I too am sorry for your loss. Dad's are pretty special and it is always a tough go, when they leave us. My prayers are with you and your' family! God Bless my friend! W>

[Indiana Croft]

And a big "Hello" to Indiana Croft and family!

Yes a big hello, the Misses has missed her Tequila buddy.

Yes I too want to say, sorry for your loss, that is a day I don't want to ever come. But that day will come eventually. As it will to all of us. Not to sound morbid, just my take on life. You live life to the fullest and see just how many lives you touch. Never forget him and he'll live forever.

Croft

[micsteam]

My deepest condolences michaelb, I am truly sorry for your loss. I can relate, I lost my Grandfather not long ago but just lost my Mother in Law (whom I've known for the last 20 years and I loved dearly !!) and my brother in law just had a stroke and had some very close calls among other things. Believe me I am familiar with family hardships, I hope you and your family are doing well or as best can be expected. I know you didn't expect this little thread to blow up into such an outpouring but unfortunately this is an ugly issue we all deal with today. Persecution for being your own person or being different or in general "bullying" in modern terminology is a sore subject for me because we have a good community here (wish we had something like this where I live !!) and I've seen good people take bad stuff from people all my life and I don't like it and I won't stand for it, It affects me personally. I think a lot of people here feel like I do and we all have our own views on how to deal with it. Look at it this way, I think you observered people behaving badly or commenting in bad taste but believe me not everyone is like that and the truth is no one, or group, should determine your course in life wether it be what hat you put on your head or your personal views etc. When you leave this world will you be happy with yourself and the choices you made ?? In the end you have to be satisfied with yourself.... the others can go (you know what to themselves !!!) jump in the water !!!

[michaelb]

Thanks again to all, and Dr. Nebraska S, WConly, micsteam and Mr. Croft. Didn't mean to get all personal, but very nice sentiments and I really appreciate it.

Mr. Croft, as you may see in my first posting above, that is what I meant by "gifts".

Just forgot, aside from Tequila, is it Almond or Vanilla Absolut?

Happy Sunday everyone.

Michael B

[Indiana Croft]

Could tell ya which it is on Vodka, but I think it was golden tequila.

Hope is all is well my friend on these hot humid days. Lovin it.

Croft