AB Hat purchase wifeblocked...Now with a 3 year deadline!

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Fri May 23, 2008 10:23 pm

So...I was all set to add my name to the prestigious "Date You Ordered Your AB" thread Wednesday night just before the movie opened (and the price increase deadline), when I was wifeblocked! The matter had been discussed, wife willing, funds allocated, and she had even said "Baby, we'll order your Adventurebilt tonight!

” And then just before the paypal was to be sent, she turns to me and says "Well, I still don't understand why you need an Adventurebilt when you have the Herbert Johnson hat Steve made for you last year."

And with that, and another hour long discussion, I grudgingly surrendered to her lack of understanding the gravity of the situation, and left the field of battle. Now, there's no way I will ever be able to justify to her the now four hundred dollar Adventurebilt and even Henry seems out of reach, because if she couldn't understand $235 for a hand made Adventurebilt, then a $285 factory AB will be out of the question to someone so logical. It's just frustrating. I'm not greedy or hat crazed. I own only one hat, my HJ. I just wanted a CS lid made by my friend Steve. Oh well. So no Adventurebilt for me then, but at least wedded bliss.

Please don't missunderstand, I love my wife and she loves me very much, she just doesn't understand.

I’m sorry, I just needed a fedora friendly crowd to vent to. I now return you to your regularly scheduled board.

Johnny

At least I have my HJ.

-J

agent5 · Post by **agent5** » Fri May 23, 2008 10:36 pm

If thats the way it is then make sure to husbandblock one of her attempted purchases you just can't comprehend her needing. It just sounds pretty silly, doesn't it?

Why does she need to understand? She shouldn't have to. All she needs to know is that it will make you happy. If times are tough then I can understand a discussion of such an item. If money is not a problem then why should anyone tell you what you should and shouldn't have?

I dunno. It doesn't sound like wedded bliss to me when the one who's supposed to love you the most prevents you from getting what you want. Life is just too short.

Indycrazy5187 · Post by **Indycrazy5187** » Fri May 23, 2008 10:40 pm

When is the henry coming out?

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Fri May 23, 2008 10:55 pm

agent5,
I don't know man. As for funds...snug but not tight. The hat was coming out of my Guard drill pay, aka:petty cash, but the main issue was a combo of cash (minor player) and why did I want another hat (major issue). Peruvian female common sense just can't process IndyGear desires.

Indycrazy5187,
As soon as Steve and Marc are pleased with the product. See the topic... viewtopic.php?t=24307&start=0&postdays= ... highlight=

Johnny

gabrielle · Post by **gabrielle** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:01 pm

Thank God I'm single and have lots of money to spend on hats!!!

$\:D/$

lol

crazylegsmurphy · Post by **crazylegsmurphy** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:08 pm

but the main issue was a combo of cash (minor player) and why did I want another hat (major issue)

Wow.....really?

I don't know your situation and I mean no offense but this is just ridiculous. Why do you want another hat? Why do I own more than one pair of shoes?

What I find funny is how many people throw money at things like DVD's, fast food, and other junk, but when it comes to getting something you know will make you happy it's now some huge issue.

Would you and your wife be sitting down and discussing if you wanted a new jacket, or a good pair of work boots?

Not only that, but what is with the wishy washness? She's all for you getting a hat, then last minute she decides she doesn't see the value in it? Honestly, I would walk up to her right now and say, in a nice way, "Hon, I know you don't see the reason why I want this hat, but I have thought about it and I have decided that it's something I really want. I realize it's a tad costly, but it's not going to get any better, and the longer I wait, the harder it will be for me to get."

At that point, sit down and think of a few things you buy regularly (like McDonalds or something) and then let her know you're going to not buy whatever it is for a while so it doesn't cut too much into the budget.

One thing you have to understand is that girls NEVER get this kind of thing for the most part. They don't have problems spending money on junk they think is needed, but they rarely seem to be able to project that thought process onto their husbands/boyfriends.

Do what you got to do. If you're not going broke because of it, then do it and if she has a problem with it, then let her know that you understand she's upset, but you're sorry.

binkmeisterRick · Post by **binkmeisterRick** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:31 pm

Okay, guys, this discussion pops up at least once or twice a year and it has a history of turning sour. Please make sure it doesn't turn into another "this is how your marriage/relationship/finances should work" thread else it will get shut down.

crazylegsmurphy · Post by **crazylegsmurphy** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:33 pm

I agree, don't let this turn sour...order your AB today, then post in the non-gear section how she's mad at you for a few weeks, we'll all have a laugh, then you can show us photos of your new AB and we'll all give you the thumbs up!

:D

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:35 pm

gabrielle wrote:Thank God I'm single and have lots of money to spend on hats!!!

Gabrielle,

That's so sweet. Thanks, I'm a size 7 CS with some turn to it.

Johnny

Just kidding

Bink,
Sorry man. Don't worry, all is well. I just needed the solace of people who do understand the allure of a good fedora. Don't sweat it, and if you want or need to go ahead and lock it up.

-J

Crazy,
Too late man, the die is cast. The new price is up. Oh well.-J

gabrielle · Post by **gabrielle** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:47 pm

I just thought of suggesting you keep checking the Cairo Bazaar and eBay. You never know what will pop up in those places...

Johnny, I need your address to have your AB Deluxe delivered...

Oh, what's the new price now on the AB and AB Deluxe for COW members? Anyone know???

DR Ulloa · Post by **DR Ulloa** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:47 pm

I don't know exactly how you feel, Johnny, but I can relate. My girl doesn't like me spending too much in a short amount of time. If I spread out the purcahses, then it is better for her sanity. I generally comply with this even though I don't see the point. It seems like you just need to sit down and explain how much you want it. I'm sure she will understand. You don't need it. You are not going to die without an AB (though it si better to die with one), but you do want it and it is something that will make you happy. I'm sorry, Johnny. Maybe Fedora can cut you some slack, knowing your situation, and extend the discount. If not, just check the Bazaar for one to pop up, though I don't think that will be any time soon. Hey, at least you have a Magnoli/AB Herbert Johnson! I want that for my next fedora.

Dave

Lee Keppler · Post by **Lee Keppler** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:49 pm

And your wife has HOW MANY pairs of shoes?? More than one piece of jewelry? And HOW MANY purses?? Block all purchases of these items with"But honey you already have a(fill in the blank). You already have( 1-5-17...) What do you need another one for?" Be very nice about it, but use her logic against her. When I was working at an indoor shooting range a gentleman was looking at a new Sig P229. His wife walked up and, not unkindly said"Honey, you have a pistol, what do you need another one for? She sounded puzzled. I said"ma'am don't take this the wrong way, but how many diamonds do you have?" She was wearing about a one caret ring, diamond earrings and a diamond necklace. I saw a light come on in her head and she said to her husband, "Honey, if you want that, buy it. I'm gonna' look at the shotguns." Put it in terms she understands..

gabrielle · Post by **gabrielle** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:52 pm

Lee Keppler wrote:And your wife has HOW MANY pairs of shoes?? More than one piece of jewelry? And HOW MANY purses?? Block all purchases of these items with"But honey you already have a(fill in the blank). You already have( 1-5-17...) What do you need another one for?" Be very nice about it, but use her logic against her. When I was working at an indoor shooting range a gentleman was looking at a new Sig P229. His wife walked up and, not unkindly said"Honey, you have a pistol, what do you need another one for? She sounded puzzled. I said"ma'am don't take this the wrong way, but how many diamonds do you have?" She was wearing about a one caret ring, diamond earrings and a diamond necklace. I saw a light come on in her head and she said to her husband, "Honey, if you want that, buy it. I'm gonna' look at the shotguns." Put it in terms she understands..

Now that's the best advice I've heard yet, good thinking Lee!

myamoebafriend · Post by **myamoebafriend** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:54 pm

Lee, that was pure brilliance

Fink · Post by **Fink** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:18 am

Yehehehea! My girlfriend just promised me yesterday an AB (Deluxe!) for my birthday! I’m gonna marry this girl!!! $\:D/$

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:18 am

Thats awesome Lee! And not that it takes anything away from the story but I just gotta know, did that guy end up buying a gun? Oh and you nailed it by the way...purse collection.

gabrielle wrote:I need your address to have your AB Deluxe delivered...

Gabrielle,
Seriously?

It must be nice to have those just lying around the house. That's too cool...
Anyway, to answer your question, kind of...I don't think there is a COW discount anymore. Steve had said awhile ago that...

Fedora wrote:The site price is already up and increased. The COW discount is still good for members, until May 22. At that time, the discounted price will only be for my customers who have done business with me. The COW discount would have been good for right at 4 years, and if you did not take advantage of it in those years, there is no one to blame but yourself.

With that said, the current street price of an AB is $400.00 (plus $10.00 s&h stateside making it $410.00) and ABD is $629.00 (converted from 399.00euro, price includes shipping).

DR Ulloa · Post by **DR Ulloa** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:25 am

I thought the AB went up to $350. Did I hear wrong? Also, didn't Steve say he would extend the COW discount to members who had purchased an AB prior to Crystal Skull? I am pretty sure he wrote that in the same price increase thread in the Vendor's Section

Dave

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:34 am

Well the AB site price went up to $350.00 quite a while ago. The $400.00 price point started the 22nd. And as for the prior AB customer discount...I don't think my Magnoli Clothiers/Adventurebilt/Herbert Johnson counts. Does it?

Nah...though that would rock!!!

Johnny

DR Ulloa · Post by **DR Ulloa** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:40 am

Well, techincally, you did give Steve some business by ordering that HJ. Maybe you can finagle your way into it. Use your charm to get your way through.

I guess that means Steve is extending the discount. That is great! I may order another one soon...as in the next year...maybe.

Dave

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:58 am

I don't know. I would never want to presume or missuse Steve's generosity. A call like that would be up to him alone. And I certanly would not want to step over people who earned their status by just being good customers of The Adventurebilt Hat Co. Strong customer loyalty is built by first being loyal to your customers, and Steve and Marc's commitment to everyone wearing an AB is unshakeable.

Johnny

DR Ulloa · Post by **DR Ulloa** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:15 am

I know. I was joking. At $400, the AB is certainly a pretty penny; worth every one, of course. The Bazaar seems to be your best option at this point. If you can hash things out with the wife before its release, the Henry isn't far from the old AB price. Try to use Lee's tactic before, that way she will understand. That has worked for me in the past. "Why do I need another hat? Well, why do you need another pair of shoes, Honey?" Everyone has their thing and that is to respected. I would not assume to tell my fiance that she should not buy another purse or pair of shoes, unless of course it were not financially responsible and she in turn treats my gear thing in the same way. No need to understand why, jsut that it makes them happy. I hope I am not over-stepping any bounderies. I am not trying to suggest how to run a relationship, only that that works for me.

Dave

Alan · Post by **Alan** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:26 am

An old family friend of mine who happens to be a dermatologist told me a few years back that I really needed to make sure I wore hats in order to avoid skin cancer. It was a wonderful thing for him to say, and I bring it up all along, particularly if another hat happens to show up.

Hang in there, Johnny. I know you're disappointed. I will say this, however. Ultimately this is your marriage, so don't get drawn into a petty war over a hat, even an AB. Your wife and your marriage are more important than that.

And I have a feeling that one of these days you'll get that Adventurebilt.

DR Ulloa · Post by **DR Ulloa** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:32 am

I agree. Your marriage comes first. It is up to you to decided if it is a fight worth having, if you think it will turn into that.

Dave

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:32 am

Not to worry. No war here. She's actually very cool and we're fairly inseperable (in fact my HJ was a birthday present from her

). She just couldn't wrap her mind around what she sees as "another of the exact same hat."

Johnny

DR Ulloa · Post by **DR Ulloa** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:37 am

I can see why she would be slightly confused. After all, they are both worked on by Steve. It is cool that she gave you that HJ, though. Maybe you should throw hints at her for your next birthday..."Hey honey, I would like something built for the open road for my birthday; something built for adventure!" Just don't be so subtle.

Dave

Lee Keppler · Post by **Lee Keppler** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:39 am

[quote="Johnny Fedora"]

Thats awesome Lee! And not that it takes anything away from the story but I just gotta know, did that guy end up buying a gun? Oh and you nailed it by the way...purse collection.

He did. They both bought a few in the next couple of years. I guess 've learned a few things in 35 years of marrage.

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:45 am

Thats great Lee, thanks for that! Mila and I are at 5 years this June so I've only got about 30 or so years to catch up to you. Hopefully I'll pick up a trick or two along the way.

Johnny

Pyroxene · Post by **Pyroxene** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:45 am

Lee Keppler wrote:I guess 've learned a few things in 35 years of marrage.

Ha. I like that one.

[Pyr writes this idea in his notepad.]

mtechthang · Post by **mtechthang** » Sat May 24, 2008 2:47 am

Johnny Fedora wrote:I don't know. I would never want to presume or missuse Steve's generosity. A call like that would be up to him alone. And I certanly would not want to step over people who earned their status by just being good customers of The Adventurebilt Hat Co.

Well, I can't and would never presume to speak for Steve (or Marc). I'm kind of new here but I would say, Steve's a reasonable guy from what I've seen (I have ordered an AB a little while back). I think I'd just contact him and ask, politely, in kind of the same language you used above- "I don't want to take advantage of you or your generosity but I admit I didn't quite understand what you meant when you said . . . " kind of thing.

For example, he said the discount only extended to customers of AB. I'm a customer since I ordered before the deadline. But I will not presume that his statement included me. I would (trying to be gracious) ask Steve if he meant folks who were customers of AB BEFORE he wrote that note or if he meant before the May 22nd deadline? It appears to me that Steve may have been saying something to the effect of no newcomers. In other words, don't join COW and come asking for a discount. Of course, I would not presume to presume so clearly the best and only way to know is to graciously ask the master!!

Smuggler · Post by **Smuggler** » Sat May 24, 2008 10:10 am

Seeing as your HJ is a birthday present from your wife, and an obvious home run, maybe she sees the AB as something that may diminish the value of her gift to you.

mufflowne · Post by **mufflowne** » Sat May 24, 2008 11:40 am

Dude, you should just order one anyway. You're a grown man and it's okay for you to have a hobby or something that makes you happy beside your wife. She should know that too. It's obviously something you really want, yes it's pricey, but she should bite the bullet because you're not a big spender anyway. My girlfriend hates the idea of me ordering a hat, until it arrives and she sees it.

TheMechanic · Post by **TheMechanic** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:17 pm

Luckily I can never be wifeblocked again. I'm free and clear to do as I please. Ahh the freedom.

agent5 · Post by **agent5** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:20 pm

Luckily I can never be wifeblocked again.

Never should have been in the first place.

TheMechanic · Post by **TheMechanic** » Sat May 24, 2008 1:10 pm

In a perfect world there wouldn't be any wife blocking or husband blocking for that matter. Unfortunately sometimes it does.

mtechthang · Post by **mtechthang** » Sat May 24, 2008 3:21 pm

TheMechanic wrote:Luckily I can never be wifeblocked again. I'm free and clear to do as I please. Ahh the freedom.

Well. He said he and she were inseparable. Maybe the hat isn't worth "the love of a good woman" and half his stuff!!

As one who has been married for 27 years (June 9- get it!

) sometimes there are small disappointments. I suspect a bit of wisdom lies above in that she probably felt a little worry since she is the one who bought you the HJ. Alan, above, is correct. Be honest and tell her you love her hat (always will) but that this one is different. Ask her to get the AB for you also- just be honest and kind (sounds like you know that already though).

I'll be honest, much as I like my hats and would like more, on a cold winter's night I don't cuddle with them!! Nor can they smile at you when you are down and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside !!

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Sun May 25, 2008 3:36 am

Thanks for the comments and understanding everybody.

It actually does take some of the sting away of my lost AdventureBilt. And as for my wife, she just didn't get why I needed another hat. I did try to explain though that as my Herbert Johnson is indeed one of my favorite possessions in the whole world (Yeah, its true. I'm Linus and my hat is my blue security blanket). I feel so protective of it, that I don't want to risk it on days without perfect weather, or on a trip to Peru where it could taper into a ball.

I wanted a second hat that could take a little more punishment and an AdventureBilt fits that need, not as a replacement for my prized HJ, but to be my go to hat for real adventure, so my birthday present, my beloved HJ, can be here for years and years to come.

Johnny

myamoebafriend · Post by **myamoebafriend** » Sun May 25, 2008 4:40 am

Totally understandable. The AB's really do look pretty dang tough compared to all the rest. And the HJ's are just so... regal. I'm sure you and the wifey will eventually work something out, don't fret it.

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Sun May 25, 2008 6:09 am

I hope so. I would never have believed anyone if they had told me that I wouldn't even have an Adventurebilt at least on order before the movie opened, much less wondering if I was ever going to be able to get one. How quickly things change. Oh well.

Who knows what's coming next right? And I've got my HJ!

Johnny

Kt Templar · Post by **Kt Templar** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:12 am

Johnny Fedora wrote:I hope so. I would never have believed anyone if they had told me that I wouldn't even have an Adventurebilt at least on order before the movie opened, much less wondering if I was ever going to be able to get one. How quickly things change. Oh well. Who knows what's coming next right? And I've got my HJ!

Johnny

Why not start a little light hearted AB fund, let her know you are doing it.

Each time your wife buys something you would count as frivolous, like a handbag or pair of shoes (of course she might be totally sensible and you are out of luck), put $50 in the fund (or an appropriate equivalent amount), you'll probably get there soon enough.

Johnny Fedora · Post by **Johnny Fedora** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:22 am

That's not bad KT.

Johnny

gabrielle · Post by **gabrielle** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:36 am

I think that would work perfectly. It would bring some clarity to the situation which I don't think your wife has right now, not being an Indy lover. But again like Lee said if you put in terms a woman can understand you'll get your AB. And this is coming from a woman...

swcrazyfan · Post by **swcrazyfan** » Sun May 25, 2008 10:22 am

gabrielle wrote:I think that would work perfectly. It would bring some clarity to the situation which I don't think your wife has right now, not being an Indy lover. But again like Lee said if you put in terms a woman can understand you'll get your AB. And this is coming from a woman...

Are you saying Lee is a women?

JK... it was just the way you worded it.

zeus36 · Post by **zeus36** » Sun May 25, 2008 11:55 am

Wait a year and stash away the funds. Send AB a deposit with your size and specs.

When the furor and wait times die down, buy it as a birthday present for your self. (or some other special occasion) In the mean time wear the HJ as much as you can and then send it out for a cleaning. You'll be hatless for that time and she'll see you really need a spare hat!

mtechthang · Post by **mtechthang** » Sun May 25, 2008 2:30 pm

Kt Templar wrote: Each time your wife buys something you would count as frivolous, like a handbag or pair of shoes (of course she might be totally sensible and you are out of luck), put $50 in the fund (or an appropriate equivalent amount), you'll probably get there soon enough.

The notion of saving for it is great. Telling or even intoning to your wife that her stuff is frivolous?!?

The HJ is a connection between you and you clearly want it to remain so. If I have any collected wisdom from 27 years of marriage (that's better to day than it has ever been) it is do not refer to anything your love does as trivial or unimportant!!! Very bad ju-ju!!

Indiana G · Post by **Indiana G** » Sun May 25, 2008 2:46 pm

as mentioned previously, i think your wife doesn't want you to order the hat as she doesn't want to see her gift on the hook while you're enjoying the new hat, which of course is understandeable.

did you use the arguement that an AB will take about a year to get so it'd be just over $1 / day to save? that angle may work.

i was explaining your situation to my wife and coupled that with the need for getting an fed iv to be my stunthat. she gave me the old "another hat?" thing and i just used my remote to MUTE her while i punched away at paypal

(btw....i read this post to her just to make sure i have her approval to put it up

)

mtechthang · Post by **mtechthang** » Sun May 25, 2008 4:12 pm

Indiana G wrote:(btw....i read this post to her just to make sure i have her approval to put it up )[/size]

Second time today to quote Short Round: "Haha! Berry funny! Haha!" $\:D/$

TonyRush · Post by **TonyRush** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:08 pm

As much as anything, this is simply a matter of perspective. You might point out to a lady that she owns two or three "little black dresses" and she would immediately point out that they were all very different (and might even question your sanity for not noticing the differences). Same thing for shoes. And purses.

The differences are EASY to spot when you're the one using the items. And they can be DIFFICULT to spot when you're a bystander.

So, when your wife says, "Why do you need another hat just like the one you already have?"......it's the same thing.

Whether or not a person gets to purchase the item anyway depends on the relationship. Some husbands and wives seem to be constantly embroiled in some kind of power-play where every decision has to be a major ordeal.

I find that kind of life and relationship to be exhausting and my wife and I pledged to never get involved in that sort of thing. If she wants a new watch, she does me the courtesy of saying, "Hey, I've been looking at this Chopard watch and I really think I'd like to have it."

She's not asking permission. She's not opening a debate.
She's just creating the space for an authentic conversation about something she'd like to have.

And it works the same way for me.

In fact -- at the risk of getting off-topic -- today I told Jessica, "It looks like Belstaff is the official jacket maker after Nowak finishes his run of 777 jackets. If I'm going to get one, I'd better go ahead and order it. What do you think?"

The only question she asked was a practical one: "Are you going to be okay with owning a jacket that you might not get to wear a lot here in Alabama?"

I think that was a totally fair question. It was basically the same kind of question I asked her about the Burberry trenchcoat she bought before we went to Rome. Just a practical question.

I thought about it for a moment and said, "Yeah. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity". She said, "Then I think you should get it."

I love open, authentic communciation without any agendas. Without any power-plays.

Anyway, this is longer than I intended. I think I'll go give my wife a hug, though. She's easily the most amazing and fascinating person I know and I'm very grateful that she and I have been able to create such an easy relationship.

Tony

gabrielle · Post by **gabrielle** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:10 pm

swcrazyfan wrote:
gabrielle wrote:I think that would work perfectly. It would bring some clarity to the situation which I don't think your wife has right now, not being an Indy lover. But again like Lee said if you put in terms a woman can understand you'll get your AB. And this is coming from a woman...

Are you saying Lee is a women? JK... it was just the way you worded it.

mtechthang · Post by **mtechthang** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:49 pm

TonyRush wrote:You might point out to a lady that she owns two or three "little black dresses" and she would immediately point out that they were all very different (and might even question your sanity for not noticing the differences).

Tony- That is exactly correct!! My only edit would be to say that when you point out to her that she has more than one little black dress you say something like, "Sweetie, a lot of guys might think you have several little black dresses but I see exactly why you need each of them! This is the similar." The reason I say that is a preemptive avoidance of the, "How could you possibly not see that those little black dresses are different, you cad!!" argument. $\:D/$ (Of course, "little black dresses" could be anything to make the point carefully. Same as Lee said before).

And Tony, you are correct. You are with quite a woman (I thought I had one of the few!).

Chewie Louie · Post by **Chewie Louie** » Mon May 26, 2008 1:00 pm

I'm Gonna Miss Her. Instead of fishing insert your love for an AB.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8O3Plt8DyMk

AB Hat purchase wifeblocked...Now with a 3 year deadline!

AB Hat purchase wifeblocked...Now with a 3 year deadline!

AB

This does get interesting!!

It is a bummer, yes. But

Eh? I dunno about that.

Now that's funny! I don't care who you are!! (LTCG)

Tony- Exactly!!