The Fedora and my wife.

IllinoisJones · Post by **IllinoisJones** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:27 pm

Any ideas on how to get my wife to stop complaining about me wanting to spend My money that I earned on a 250.00 fedora? Illinois

prairiejones · Post by **prairiejones** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:38 pm

Poison.

whiskyman · Post by **whiskyman** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:03 pm

Quote some of HER expenditure.

Seriously, if you end up wearing your hat most of the time, you won't have to justify the cost.

GraveRobberGreg · Post by **GraveRobberGreg** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:06 pm

Do what I do....BEG

If you talk about it all the time she will get tired of hearing about and then will say "Just buy the #### thing and shut up about it" Works everytime

prairiejones · Post by **prairiejones** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:14 pm

Catch her cheating on you. Then tell her you'll forgive her if she lets you get the hat. I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!!

Just keep talking about it. Show that you have a passion for it. She should start to understand. Mine did.

webley420 · Post by **webley420** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:40 pm

One thing that works for me is show some interest in her hobby if she has one and encourage her to spend a bunch of $$$$$$$$$$$ on it then you can use that to your advantage

Erri · Post by **Erri** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:56 pm

well i'm not married but this worked anyway with my girl (she's an indy fan, not as nut as us folks but... )... well when i bought the other hat from Pagey i kept it as a secret for quite long time, i didnt have the heart to speak about it then i told her i bought another one for a good pice (and it was! thanks pagey!) and i also added that she can wear the one she prefer all the time she wants. IT WORKED!

I hope your wife likes indiana and hats!

Hemingway Jones · Post by **Hemingway Jones** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 6:07 pm

I'm divorced, for a reason!
But, I am of the school that you explain to her how much it means to you and you emphasize that it is money you earned. -Then buy her someting nice. Each piece of IndyGear may end up costing you double.

Feraud · Post by **Feraud** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 6:19 pm

Give her the old...."if you really love me...."

Does she spend money on shoes, clothes, etc.? Does she have hobbies or go/do anything that costs money? There has to be something you can compare spending the money on.

Tell her it is a necessary item.

rick5150 · Post by **rick5150** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 6:19 pm

Compare the number of fedoras that YOU have to the number of shoes that SHE has. That is what I did, but the difference is that I actually wear my fedoras

Actually, my wife does not complain about my purchases and I do not complain about hers. In fact, she just gave me her expense check to cover some of the repairs I had done on my Jeep. I never even asked.

At 19 1/2 years of marraige, that seems pretty good to me.

Erri · Post by **Erri** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 6:25 pm

you could ask her how much she spend for her haircut and simply do this mathematical operation

(cost of your hat) / (cost of her haircuts) =

the result will be surely something about 1 and 4

and you can also add that a hat is forever! like a diamond

a haicut is at last for a week!

yeah i know i was bad this time

Flattery · Post by **Flattery** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:21 pm

Hmm, this is interesting. Would you mind telling us exactly what she says, and how often? Do you think it could be an issue of her not wanting you to wear a hat?

Personally, you may want to indicate that you're trying to understand why it's even an issue.

This is what I would do: Ask her to explain to you why you shouldn't buy the hat. If she can't offer an explanation, or doesn't want to, simply tell her that it's something you want to do for yourself -- you feel that you've earned it, and there's absolutely no reason, that you can think of, why you should not be able to purchase a hat. Especially at that price -- it's a steal!

Spooky · Post by **Spooky** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:42 pm

Illinois,
Show her a pic of a Dorfman Pacific Fedora and mention that you plan to wear it all the time.
Yep, that'll get her done.
She may beg you to spend more on your next hat.

agent5 · Post by **agent5** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:08 pm

Why not just be totally honest and tell her it's none of her business what you decide to do with YOUR money as long as she's taken care of in every way. If the bills are all paid with no reason to think they won't in the future, you're not a druggie, a gambler, addicted to prostitutes or anything of the like, she should not be compaining in the least. If that's the case, then it sounds as if there may be an underlining issue, not just the money. A relationship should be 50-50. She should accept your love of the hobby because of her love for you and you the same for her for things she likes to do.

Begging? Not me. Sorry.

I think honesty is the best policy. You tell her it means something to you and that it doesn't have to mean anything to her in the least other than the fact that you like it. She should be happy if you're happy.

Bottom line here:
SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO UNDERSTAND OR ENJOY YOUR HOBBY, JUST ACCEPT IT.

Period.

Good luck and don't turn soft or she'll be picking your fedora's out for you, and you don't want the Disney wool @#$%.

I've seen it happen to many of my friends. They end up going soft and give in. DON'T GO SOFT! Be a man.

Fedora · Post by **Fedora** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:07 pm

Then buy her someting nice. Each piece of IndyGear may end up costing you double.

A wise man.

Listen up neophytes.

Fedora

BendingOak · Post by **BendingOak** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:38 am

I feal very lucky, I never have to explain any of this at all to my wife. If one of us wants something and we can pull it off (and it makes us happy the other is happy).

Mulceber · Post by **Mulceber** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:08 am

I don't have anything to add, except what everybody else just said, but I thought I might just mention that it seems ironic to me that, considering the fact that we men usually are the breadwinners, women are the ones who seem to control the purse-strings. Go figure!

:junior: -IJ

IllinoisJones · Post by **IllinoisJones** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:10 am

Thst's not all they control, and thats why they control the bread!

Indy_Railok · Post by **Indy_Railok** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 9:18 am

prairiejones wrote:Poison.

- What is that,honey?

- Antidote.

- To what?

- To the Posion you just drank. *Starts laughing*

Erri · Post by **Erri** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:14 pm

Indy_Railok wrote:
prairiejones wrote:Poison.

- What is that,honey?

- Antidote.

- To what?

- To the Posion you just drank. *Starts laughing*

now... let me buy that hat! (with lao che accent)

Vannevar · Post by **Vannevar** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:23 pm

Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee."
Winston: "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it."

i keeeed.

IndyFlyer · Post by **IndyFlyer** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:48 pm

You don't actually tell your wife the true cost of your purchases do you..? I generally 'reduce' the prices of my hobby buys by at least half, although I am not sure I am really doing any fooling. Buying her something, or allowing her to buy herself something when she wants to without question goes a long way. As I am preparing to order my second AB I am facing this as well. "You already have a hat, why do you need another...?"

Fedora · Post by **Fedora** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:16 pm

You already have a hat, why do you need another...?"

I always found the second hat was fairly easy to pull off. You use the "backup hat" excuse. Life is about being prepared. You have a spare tire located somewhere in your vehicle. Why? A no brainer. Same with a hat. The third hat, requires infinite finesse, but is best added at a later date when ya get the first one good and distressed.

I have found that the color issue is your best bet on selling this one to her. "Sweetie, I need a different shade of brown, so that it matches my new Wested Lambskin. (women understand the color deal) This brown is just a bit too dark." Fedora

Erri · Post by **Erri** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:20 pm

Fedora wrote: "Sweetie, I need a different shade of brown, so that it matches my new Wested Lambskin. (women understand the color deal) This brown is just a bit too dark." Fedora

that's a real intelligent way! try it !!

IndyK · Post by **IndyK** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:35 pm

Fedora wrote: "Sweetie, I need a different shade of brown, so that it matches my new Wested Lambskin. (women understand the color deal) This brown is just a bit too dark." Fedora

...and then add: "Which reminds me, I have to order a new Wested lambskin."

Cheers

Feraud · Post by **Feraud** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 4:05 pm

I have to admit my wife is, in the words of the immortal Ralph Kramden, "The Greatest".

However I do use tact when purchasing things that can appear to the non-initiated as "frivolous".

One never wants to hear that dreaded introduction, "do you really need....".

My gal is already aware of Fedora's hobby turning into something more. Ordering an AB will be no problem. She likes the idea of "one of us" doing something like this.

K on the run · Post by **K on the run** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:19 pm

It's a common mistake, made by most women, that a wife should understand every thing we (men) do. We (men) know that almost all the things women do is incomprehensible and we don't even try to understand, we mealy nod our heads and say "yes darling"

That said I have to praise my wife, she supports almost all my crazy idea's and only puts her foot down when certain death looms at the end of my craze.

My advice is "NEVER TELL HER THE REAL PRICE, LIE LIE LIE"

No I'm kidding, you should talk about the hat all the time.
If she asks you what you want for dinner, you should say something like "Hey! that reminds me of a great hat I saw the other day!"
If she loves you she will surrender in the end!

Good luck.
-K

Erri · Post by **Erri** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:30 pm

K on the run wrote: If she asks you what you want for dinner, you should say something like "Hey! that reminds me of a great hat I saw the other day!"
If she loves you she will surrender in the end!

Good luck.
-K

that's reminds me of films where wives are in others' beds saying "ow my husband is such a boring man! Always speaking about his ####### hats all the time"

Strider · Post by **Strider** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 10:09 pm

Bad dates.

Seriously, I don't see why this should be an issue for anyone. It's your money, you are allowed to do with it whatever you darn well please. Also, if she doesn't like it, well that's the beautiful part about it; she doesn't have to. You said it yourself, you earned that money. It's yours to do with as you please.

End of story.

Indiana Texas-girl · Post by **Indiana Texas-girl** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:53 pm

I'd suggest telling her be glad it's not a Rolex watch (or something more expensive) and tell her it will help protect you from the neck up from sun cancer, which would save you medical bills in the long run. (A Rolex will only protect ya in the wrist area.)

Agent 5, tell us how you really feel. LOL!

Strider · Post by **Strider** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:49 pm

haha! There's some good advice.

Back when I used to wear my hat at Boomer's, when someone asked me why I had it, I used to say "It keeps my head warm" if it was cold out, and if it was hot and sunny, I'd say "keeps the sun out of my face". Best of both worlds.

binkmeisterRick · Post by **binkmeisterRick** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:16 am

I already owned a ton of hats before my wife met me, so she knew I had a problem before she married me. ...A HAT problem! I said a HAT problem! (Although crowns lasting more than four hours require immediate medical attention.)

bink

Renderking Fisk · Post by **Renderking Fisk** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:07 am

IllinoisJones wrote:Any ideas on how to get my wife to stop complaining about me wanting to spend My money that I earned on a 250.00 fedora?

I got your back…

I would talk to here about how the fedora isn’t just about looking like Indiana Jones, it’s about also looking and being more like one of the most romantic hereo’s on the Silver Screen: Humphrey Bogart’s Rick Blaine.

Tell her that it’s about recapturing substance and style of the Golden Era… the spirit of Adventure. You want to return society back to a time when a man was a man, a woman was a woman, and evil doers ran scared.

Not only do you want emulated a hero, you want to be a hero. Then actually DO it, actually show your appretiation for her by actually getting things done.

Emerse your self in the culture of that era, collect Black and White DVDs, get a hold of some classic Jazz, Replace CNN.com or FoxNews.com with The Fedora Chronicles, when you replace a worn out article of clothes, replace it with something that looks like it belongs to someone three generations ago… go totally Retro.

BELIEVE ME when I say this, I’m a VERY lucky man because when I first did that back in 1998/1999 and started collecting the Bogart WB classics and The Thin Man, some of my Jazz and swing, and she’s as into retro as I am now.

Once she has a taste of that quality, she’ll never go back to some of the Garbage of this generation.

matei · Post by **matei** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:42 am

If it looks good on you - then she can't complain!

When I first expressed the desire to acquire and wear a hat, I would try them in the shops on the rare occasions I'd come across them. More often than not they were really naff looking, low quality hats that did nothing to strengthen my case.

However, when I found a shop in Dublin selling HJ fedoras, I no longer had to plead my case - my wife liked the way I looked... Classy, like I just stepped out of the silver screen! ;-)

Best bet is to wear it and wear it well. All resisitance will melt away when she sees you sporting your class lid, compared to all the slobs with their backwards ballcaps.

Kaleponi Craig · Post by **Kaleponi Craig** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 1:18 pm

You could also just put money aside, little by little, then by the darn hat. This is what wives have been doing for thousands of years to buy stuff. This way, with saving $10 here, $20 there, the money gone is never noticed. You don't have to tell your wife exactly what it costs, do you? Believe me, wives don't understand things like $250 hats, they just don't.

DanielJones · Post by **DanielJones** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:09 pm

Yes... But then you'll have to explaing to a Judge how her body ended up in a 50 gallon drum 3 miles out to sea. You'll say, "Wow! I didn't even know she could paddle that far. I guess that's when she panicked and dismembered herself."

And if memory serves me correctly, there are laws against stuff like that. If it's your money there is no arguement. Buy the Fedora and that's that. End of discussion.

Cheers!

Dan

Post by **Michaelson** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:11 pm

More realistically, the report will say 'most unusual case of suicide we've ever seen in our lives!"

Regards! Michaelson

DanielJones · Post by **DanielJones** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:15 pm

Or at least the most creative...

Cheers!

Dan

Indiana Jess · Post by **Indiana Jess** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:13 pm

This thread is reminding me that when I get home I need to pray: "Dear Lord, thank you that I am single! Amen."

agent5 · Post by **agent5** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:57 pm

"Dear Lord, thank you that I am single! Amen."

Remember that the next time you want some lovin' and you're all alone. It's all about finding the right person for you. That's all.

Indyjim · Post by **Indyjim** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:41 pm

This thread is reminding me that when I get home I need to pray: "Dear Lord, thank you that I am single! Amen."

Wish I was!!!

Indiana Jess · Post by **Indiana Jess** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 12:31 am

agent5 wrote:
"Dear Lord, thank you that I am single! Amen."
Remember that the next time you want some lovin' and you're all alone. It's all about finding the right person for you. That's all.

Been there, done that. No thanks.

Indiana Texas-girl · Post by **Indiana Texas-girl** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 1:39 am

Ah, Jess, have you been "lookin' fo' wuv in all da wong places?" (had to find a place to insert that quote and you were the lucky victim)

Indiana Jerry · Post by **Indiana Jerry** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 2:28 am

Time to buy a dog. You know what to name it.

(No, NOT 'Punt'.)

Havana · Post by **Havana** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 9:51 am

Just buy it and don't tell her until you have it. Then, tell her you found it in the woods, or that a hobo gave it to you or that you've always had it. Works everytime... Actually, these have never worked for me but I have tried.

Indiana Jess · Post by **Indiana Jess** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 11:51 am

Indiana Jerry wrote:Time to buy a dog. You know what to name it.

(No, NOT 'Punt'.)

Umm ... "Jerry"?

schwammy · Post by **schwammy** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 11:38 pm

Havana wrote:Just buy it and don't tell her until you have it. Then, tell her you found it in the woods, or that a hobo gave it to you or that you've always had it. Works everytime... Actually, these have never worked for me but I have tried.

Ha ha! Me too! Actually, I use the line, "You ask me that every time you see this!" Make her think she's going crazy.

Re the backup issue, my wife actually asked me the other day if I needed a backup brown hat. Couldn't believe it.

Joe Soucheray says, "There are three prices to everything. There's the price you pay, there's the price you tell her you paid, and then there's the price you pay when she finds out what you really paid."

The Fedora and my wife.

The Fedora and my wife.

hat

Re: The Fedora and my wife.